im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
