"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
