Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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