grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
