Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
