its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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