Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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