The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How does one acquire holy water?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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