This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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