ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
