Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
