its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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