Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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