You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
