So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
