I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize