Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
