that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
