You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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