im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I currently don't understand fingers.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
