lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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