Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
