Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
