....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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