We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
