dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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