super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
