It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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