oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
