We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Someone shit on the floor
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
