Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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