the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
