kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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