Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
