3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
false alarm. still invincible.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
