it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
