I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
