so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
