I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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