we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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