I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
