In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
