A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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