when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
