After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she peed on how many people?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
