They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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