He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
did i just pee glitter
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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