belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
