In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
