He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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