elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
