yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
