Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
