Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
