my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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