I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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